Like Woman, A Mystery
by jane0904
Summary: Next in the Mal/Freya 'verse, following on from PLAYING PARTS. Serenity drops Inara back home on Lazarus, but there is someone waiting for her she never expected to see again. Read, review, enjoy! NOW COMPLETE but there's more to come ...
1. Chapter 1

Lazarus was huge in the bridge window, and Hank was expertly bringing Serenity into optimum re-entry position.

"Will you stay a few days?" Inara asked, standing next to Mal behind the pilot's chair.

"Maybe. A day or two. Just knowing that someone ain't out to kill me, or make me act, would be good." Mal grinned. "But I'd'a thought you'd be fed up with us by now."

"You maybe, but not the others," Inara said, allowing just a hint of acid into her tone.

If anything he grinned wider. "That's so nice to know, 'Nara." He glanced out of the window, seeing only the curve of the world. "'Spect you'll be glad to be getting back to normal."

"I've learned there's no such thing, Mal. Every time I think things are routine, something comes along to destroy my illusions."

"You know, that's really sad."

"I'd believe you more if you actually sounded heartbroken."

The ship began to rock somewhat, and the air outside glowed.

"Be down in a few minutes," Hank said, fighting the yoke a little but supremely confident as always. "Local time's around 7 pm."

"Mrs Boden said she'd have a meal ready for us." Inara stroked her hands down her dress, mentally going through the boxes she'd already packed, trying to remember if there was anything she'd forgotten.

"Sounds good."

Mal chuckled. "That the only thing you think about?" he asked. "Your stomach?"

"That and Zoe. And Ben, of course."

"Glad you've got your priorities straight." He looked at Inara. "Food would be good, thanks. And a day or two's rest. Although I've had word of a job on Ibis."

She raised her eyebrows. "That's a long way from here."

"Well, still got to drop Patience' crate off on Greenleaf, and that's closer. Might pick up something else in the meantime." A jolt threw him against her, and he smiled somewhat ruefully, pushing himself away. "Sorry. Didn't mean to …"

"That's okay." She turned. "Well, if Hank isn't likely to crash us, I'll go and make sure I've got everything." She walked elegantly off the bridge.

Mal glared at his pilot.

"Didn't do that on purpose, Mal," Hank insisted. "Those entry couplings need adjusting again."

"Hmmn."

---

Oddly enough, Hank didn't crash the Firefly, and the landing was as smooth as ever, the ramp descending into the sweet evening air. As always Bethie was waiting by the inner doors, Fiddler on his leash, and Ethan standing next to her, clutching her hand.

Mal smiled as he walked to the door controls. "You gonna keep an eye on my son, Miss Bethany?" he asked.

"Going to play, Daddy," Ethan said, smiling broadly.

"Only for a while. Dinner'll be on the table soon."

"We won't be long," Bethie assured him. "Hungry."

Mal chuckled. "As usual." He pressed the button. "Just don't let him hurt himself, _dong mah_?"

"I won't," the little girl promised, and as soon as the doors were open wide enough they were off, Ethan barely managing to keep his feet as she dragged him towards the orchard.

"Mal, where is our son off to?" Freya asked, coming down the stairs, Jesse in her arms.

"Playing."

"There's a nip in the air, though," she said, ever the fretful mother. "He should really be wearing a coat."

"He'll be fine," River put in, hurrying out of the shuttle above them. "I'll keep an eye on them." She ran down into the bay, barefoot as usual, and was out past Mal before he could form a sentence.

"You know, Bethie really is a little too young to be in charge of Ethan," Freya pointed out, coming to stand next to her husband.

"I know. But this is Lazarus. And they ain't going far, not with the promise of food soon." He hooked his arm around her.

She smiled. "I suppose."

"Frey, let 'em be young. They'll have to grow up all too soon."

"Oh, and I suppose it wasn't you who was worrying about what Ethan was up to just a day ago when you couldn't find him? On a ship altogether smaller than Lazarus?"

He managed to look astonished. "Me? Worried?"

"You." She poked him in the ribs. "I saw."

"Thought you weren't peeking any more."

"I mean I saw your face when you found him in the engine room with Kaylee."

He let his lips lift. "He's my son, Frey. A'course I worry about him."

"So do I." She moved forward enough so she could kiss those very lips.

"Oh, please," Hank said from the top of the catwalk. "What is this place, a bordello?"

"My wife," Mal said. "My ship. My rules."

"Fine. Then I'll just go away again until you've finished making out, shall I?"

"No. You go help Jayne with Inara's stuff."

"Must I?"

"My ship. My rules."

"Fine. I'll go and put my back out lugging those great damn things outside, and then what will Zoe say?" Hank grumbled as he mooched down the stairs.

"She'll say she's proud of you for taking orders so well," Freya said, smiling at Mal.

"I thought you were on my side!" the pilot moaned.

"She's on mine," Mal said, kissing her again.

Inara stepped out of the common area. "Would you like me to come back later?" she asked.

"No, I think we're done." Freya stood back from Mal. "For the moment, anyway."

"Hank's just volunteered to help you with your stuff," Mal put in.

"Vol …" Hank's eyebrows had almost disappeared into his untidy brown hair as he walked past Inara. "I'm gonna get me a new job. Persuade Zoe that she's better off coming with me than staying on a ship with a …" His voice faded as he headed towards the guest quarters.

"Are you winding him up?" Inara asked.

"Who, me?"

"Yes, you."

"Little bit." Mal grinned. "It makes the day go faster."

"You're cruel."

"Man has to have some fun."

Inara turned to Freya, and put her hand on Jesse's head. The little girl snuffled in her sleep, but didn't wake. "I'm going to miss her," she said softly.

"She'll miss her auntie too," Freya responded. "I don't think she's had so much attention."

"Well, I didn't really have much to do while you were all acting." She glanced at Mal. "Well, so-called acting."

"And you said I was cruel." Mal shook his head.

Inara smiled tightly, then laughed at the look on his face.

"'Nara?" Kaylee hurried out of the common area. "Oh, thought you'd gone already."

"No, she's just standing here insulting me," Mal complained.

Kaylee grinned. "Like old times, then."

"Too much." Inara turned her back on the captain. "And of course I've not gone yet. You're all staying for a day or two, at least according to the _kuh ooh duh lao bao jurn_."

"I ain't a tyrant!" Mal sighed heavily. "You know, this continuous wounding makes me almost want to go help Hank and Jayne."

"Almost?" Freya murmured.

"Oh, yeah, only almost." He smirked.

"Well, in which case, I think we oughtta go and have tea," Kaylee said, ignoring him, and taking her friend by the arm.

"We'll be having dinner soon," Inara pointed out.

"Yeah, but tea don't count."

"I suppose not." They walked out into the evening sunshine.

"You know, I'm gonna miss you," Kaylee went on. "Our little chats."

"You've got plenty of women to talk to on board."

"Yeah, but it ain't the same." She looked up at the setting sun reflecting off the windows of the house. "It's so pretty here."

"Well, anytime you want to have a rest from certain people, you just let me know. You can stay as long as you like."

Kaylee sighed happily. "Might take you up on that, 'Nara. I mean, Serenity's home 'n'all, but sometimes you just wanna …" She stopped, seeing Inara's face freeze. "What is it?" She looked to where her friend was staring. "Oh. Oh!"

Sam Nazir had come out of the house, the soft gold light gilding his olive skin. He walked slowly towards them.

"You want I should shoot him for ya?" Jayne asked, one of her boxes in his arms, but ready to drop it if need be.

"There'll be no killing without my say-so," Mal put in, striding down the ramp. "Though I'd be willing to do that small favour for you if you say the word, 'Nara. Despite how you described me just now."

Inara glanced at him almost gratefully, but shook her head. "No, I don't think that will be necessary."

"You sure? I ain't shot at anyone for a while, and I'm getting kinda antsy."

She smiled weakly. "No, honestly. I'll take care of this."

Sam came up to her. "Inara."

"I thought you were going back to Ariel."

Mal raised his eyebrows at the amount of chill in her voice. "Better make sure your husband has that hypothermia treatment still handy," he said in a stage whisper to Kaylee, who smothered a laugh.

Inara shot them both an annoyed look, then turned back to Sam. "I think we'd better go for a walk. Away from prying eyes."

"I'd like that," Sam said, smiling hopefully. He held out his arm to her, but she ignored it, instead walking away down the path towards the lake.

"He looks like he's going to his own funeral, don't he?" Kaylee observed.

"Mmn. That he does," Mal agreed thoughtfully.


	2. Chapter 2

Inara walked down the path to the lake, stopping at the end of the small jetty. She could see Mr Boden had been busy, cutting back the undergrowth, and it looked as if the boathouse had finally been repaired. A bird called mournfully from across the water, answered by another further away, and the sound echoed in her heart.

"Inara –" Sam stopped a dozen feet from her.

"I thought we'd said all there was to say."

He shook his head. "No. There's lifetimes of things I'd like to say to you, but right now, I just want to tell you that I'm sorry."

She didn't look at him. "Fine. You're sorry. Well, now you've said it you can turn around and go back to Ariel and your sanitised life."

"Sanitised. Yes. It is that." He looked down. "I've never had to get these hands dirty. Not once."

"Something to be proud of."

"Is it?"

"No." She turned on him. "How can you even consider treating people when you're so insular? When you've never experienced life?"

"I've been married, Inara. I have a daughter. I call that having a life. And I'm very successful at what I do. You know that." He was trying to maintain his calm.

"Yes. And you helped me. And I am grateful. But the first spark of something against your sensibilities and you leave."

"They killed those men, Inara. No matter that it was legal. They just hanged them as if they were so much meat." There was something in his eyes now, something she hadn't seen before, and it almost frightened her.

"And they'd killed a lot more. It was justice." She looked back across the lake, not wanting to see him angry.

"It was barbaric."

"That's what life can be out here. And leaving when things get tough doesn't change anything."

Sam's mind went back to that day not so very long ago when he'd walked out of Serenity on Jiangyin, determined to return to Ariel.

"_That life you're talking about turns on a pin out here," _Mal had said quietly_. "One moment it's all sweetness and light, the next someone's trying to kill you. The way it is, is how it is. You get used to it or find yourself a cave and you hide. Or dig yourself a grave and pull the stones back in after."_

"_You think that's what I'm doing. Hiding in my cave."_

"_I ain't a therapist. Most kind of counselling I do is with my gun. But you leaving Inara … yeah, I think you're running away."_

He swallowed. "Mal said I was running away."

"He was right."

"Perhaps. But I can't believe that is the right way to punish people."

"And there are some on Serenity's crew who lived through the Alliance's version of rehabilitation." She shook her head sadly. "Sam, this isn't the point."

"So what is? I left Jiangyin fully intending to go back to Ariel. To not think on you or this place ever again."

"So why didn't you?"

"Because I realised I was missing something. Something I wanted very badly."

Inara bit her lip. She wanted to say _yes, come home, come back to me, stay_, but she didn't. A sigh escaped her instead.

Sam took a step back. "This was a mistake, wasn't it? Being here. Waiting for you."

"Sam –"

"Miss Inara?" Mr Boden was standing at the end of the jetty. "I've been asked to let you know dinner's ready."

She turned and smiled at him. "Thank you. We'll be right in."

The man nodded and started back to the house.

Inara went to follow, but Sam put his hand on her arm. "I _am_ sorry," he said.

Even though the touch of him sent a frisson of desire through her, she suppressed it ruthlessly. "I think it's too late for that." She lifted her head and walked away, composure personified.

He watched her leaving him, the shadows gathering around her as the sun finally set, and his heart ached.

---

Dinner was an odd affair. The food was good, and thoroughly enjoyed, but the hostess was virtually silent. Not that it stopped most of the others.

"… so we had to perform a daring rescue," Kaylee was saying. "You shoulda seen Jayne and Zoe dive into the sea … that was amazing."

"I'm sure it was." Sam smiled at her.

"Yeah, well, it couldn't'a been the doc going in," Jayne said, pointing with his knife. "Seeing as we'd'a had to rescue him if he had." He grinned at River, who just rolled her eyes.

"I'm getting better," Simon insisted, not taking offence. He looked at Sam. "I should never have told everyone I couldn't swim."

"Neither can I," the therapist admitted. "It didn't seem necessary to learn."

"People can drown 'cause other people don't know how to swim," Mal pointed out, shivering just a touch at the memory.

"And it was cold," Zoe added. "I don't think I've ever been in water quite like that."

"Not even on New Casmir?" Mal teased.

"That was a puddle of melted snow. Not the same thing at all."

"Well, it was sure amusing to see you slide down into it." He laughed. "I don't think you got rid of the mud in your hair for weeks."

"I didn't."

"You let my fiancée fall into a muddy puddle?" Hank asked, attempting outrage.

"Wasn't a case of letting," Mal explained. "And she damn well pulled me in too, trying to get her out."

"It was waist deep." Zoe sighed. "Gritty, too."

"And pretty tenacious. There were places I kept finding it for a hell of a long time." He grinned. "Mind, I don't think my skin ever felt softer."

"I think I'll pass on that particular beauty treatment," Freya said, laughing.

"You've certainly led interesting lives," Sam said.

Mal shrugged. "It was war. Saw a lot of places, did a lot of things."

"I didn't." Sam glanced up the table at Inara, but she wasn't looking at him, just pushing the food around her plate. "I'm afraid my experiences stalled at helping some of the soldiers who came back deal with what they'd seen."

The atmosphere in the room cooled a little.

"There was stuff you try and forget, Sam," Mal said quietly. "But sometimes there was a moment, just one or two maybe, that made you realise there's humanity in everyone." He glanced at Zoe, who returned his gaze and nodded slowly.

Sam didn't know what they were remembering, knew no-one was going to ask, but still felt the tug of the past between them. He paused, long enough for them to realise he wasn't deliberately ignoring their feelings, before saying, "And Saffron? Do you think her husband will catch up with her?"

"Which one?" Jayne asked. "She's had a lot. Including Mal."

River thumped him on the arm, but not very hard. "They weren't married. The judge on Boros said."

"More by luck than anything else," Simon added.

"Hey!" Mal sounded affronted.

The tension had eased, and conversation flowed again, until Kaylee yawned.

"Oh, sorry," she said, clamping her hand over her mouth. "Don't know what's wrong with me."

"Bed," Simon said, standing up and holding out his hand.

She took it. "Are you propositioning me, doctor?"

"Yes."

"Good." She got quickly to her feet, picking up Bethany who complained a little but fell asleep against her shoulder. "G'night," she said, smiling at the others. "See ya in the morning."

There was chorus of goodnights as they left the dining room, then Freya stood up. "I'm going to have a bath, then go to bed. Join me?" She smiled down at Mal.

"Best offer I've had all day," he joked. He looked at Ethan, already dozing off in his chair. "Looks like someone else needs his bed."

"We'll put him down," River said quickly. "It will be good practice for Jayne."

"Don't need that kinda practice," the big man complained. "But I'll do it."

"Thanks." Mal looked at Inara. "You gonna be okay?"

"I'm fine, Mal," she said. "In fact, I think I'll turn in as well." She let her gaze wander across the others, pausing only for a moment on Sam's face. "Goodnight."

"Night, 'Nara." Mal put his arm around his wife and turned they strolled out of the room.

"What was it?" Freya asked softly, as they climbed the stairs. "The moment?"

Mal didn't answer for a second, then exhaled. "We were on a rock, name of Harmony." He gave a bark of laughter, but it wasn't funny. "Always figure someone had a sense of humour, however misplaced. It was nothing, just a little way stop between bigger battles, but we were stuck for near three weeks. Constant shelling, nothing to do but peck at the purple-bellies. Our officer liked to lead charges against the enemy lines, only one time he didn't come back with the rest of the men. We were about to go out, look for him, at least try and bring back his dog tags off his body, when this huge hulk of a man loomed up out of the smoke at us." Mal licked his lips, seeing into the past.

"Go on."

"I think it was only the surprise that kept us from riddling him with holes, but no-one fired a gorram shot. He was carrying something, and as he put it down I realised it was our officer. He was in a bad way, but still alive. The purple-belly muttered something about not wanting to leave a good man to die, and disappeared back into no-man's land." He shook his head. "You know, that whole time, I don't think there was a shell burst. You coulda heard a pin drop."

"Did he make it? Your officer?"

"Yeah, he did. We had a good medic at the time, and we were lifted out a couple of days later, left the Alliance to it. Heard tell the officer was given a medal."

"For getting hurt?"

"For leading courageous attacks on the enemy."

Freya snorted. "That sort of thing gets people killed."

"It does. But that was the moment. That purple … that _man_ didn't have to bring him back, coulda just left him where he fell. But he carried him all that way."

They stopped outside the bedroom door.

"Humanity, Mal."

"Yeah." He pulled her into his arms. "Find it in the strangest places." His hands wandered south.

"You expecting to find some there?"

He grinned finally. "Never know."

---

Mal was asleep. After their activities the previous night this wasn't surprising, but Frey put it down a lot more to the comfortableness of the bed. On Serenity he was usually awake before the rest of the crew, even if he didn't necessarily get up. But on Lazarus, in a proper bed with deep pillows, linen sheets and a soft mattress, he always seemed to sleep late.

Freya watched him, and listened to the rest of the house. Small noises from downstairs suggested that Mrs Boden was already firing up the ovens for an industrial sized breakfast, but there was no other movement. With a gentle and wary touch she checked the other bedrooms. As she suspected her son and daughter were both in the nursery with Bethany, fast asleep, as were the rest of the adults. She withdrew and got carefully out of bed.

Mal didn't wake, just rolled over into the warm spot she'd vacated, mumbling to himself. She smiled indulgently at him. He looked like his son, sleeping like that on his chest, his cheek pressed into the pillow, his mouth slightly open. He was going to make the slipcover damp doing that. And his eyelashes were fluttering –

No. Enough of that. Or she'd be waking him up just to see his eyes spark with recognition and love.

Slipping into her clothes, she quickly grabbed her shawl to wrap around her shoulders, and left Mal to his dreams.

There was something about this time of day – not quite night, not yet morning – that drew her. Mal would have laughed if he'd known, but ever since she was a child she'd loved the break of dawn, and would often set her alarm to wake her well before her parents and brother, to creep out onto the balcony to watch the sunrise. She'd never told Alex in case he'd ridiculed her, but it was _her_ time, _her _special hope for the new day. And during the Academy, during those long, dark, endless hours of pain, it was one of the few things she'd held onto, her lifeline. Only in this was she still Elena, not Freya.

The air was cool against her skin, and she hugged the shawl a little tighter, but the sky was already shot through with deep purples and pinks. Walking into the orchard, through grass that clung damply to her boots, she reached the wrought iron chairs, and contemplated sitting, but decided having a wet backside was a step too far. Instead she leaned against a tree and watched the sun come up over the edge of the world.

"May I join you?"

She didn't turn, didn't let the sigh escape her lips at the intrusion into her reverie, but said instead, "It looks like you already have."

Sam paused. "I'm sorry. I've interrupted you."

She stood straight, the spell broken. "Yes, you have."

"I'm sorry," he said again. "But I saw you leave the house, and I … I wanted to speak to you. Alone."

"Well, I'm here, and so are you. Say your piece."


	3. Chapter 3

"I need your help." Sam stood like a supplicant in the dawn light, his hands clasped tightly in front of him.

"My help." Freya gazed at him calmly.

"With Inara."

"No."

"What?" He looked surprised.

"I'm not getting in the middle of this, Sam. You go and fight your own battles."

"I tried. Yesterday. She won't talk to me."

She studied him, his smooth olive face, his long black hair, caught back into the nape of his neck somewhat untidily for a change. His clothes were crumpled too, as if he'd slept in them.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked.

"I …" He was thrown for a moment, then recovered. "Honestly, no. I was trying to plan out a campaign of attack, but nothing worked."

Freya smiled thinly. "You make it sound like a battlefield, and Inara's the citadel to be taken."

"I think she is. She's the prize."

"I'm not sure you're who she needs, Sam."

"I … I need her."

"Is that enough?"

Sam sat down heavily in the wrought iron chair, not caring about the dew soaking into his pants. "I don't know. I have to try."

Freya sighed. She recognised the signs of love for sure, having seen it in the mirror often enough. Not that Sam would admit to it. Not yet. "Even if I talk to her –" She almost couldn't take the hope in his eyes. "– you know it might not work. You've counselled too many people to really believe that it will automatically turn out right in the end. This isn't a fairytale."

"I know. And I have. I've told them to be realistic, to not rely on the one they love being the answer to everything." He laughed hollowly. "Only I've just discovered it's not the same when it's yourself."

Maybe he did know, Freya considered. "Were you like this with your wife?" she asked gently.

"Stupid?" Sam smiled ruefully. "Oh, yes. I'd spent so long telling myself that I didn't need anyone, that I was so much better off on my own, yet when I saw her standing next to one of those crazy sculptures of hers, I … fell."

"And you've fallen for Inara."

He nodded, the smile gone, misery on his features now. "I have."

"You hurt her."

"I know."

"Told her that everything she knew was wrong, that everyone she cared about was a barbarian."

"I know."

"I don't know if she'll forgive you."

"Would you?"

"We're not talking about –"

He stood up. "But you're her friend. Almost like a sister. Would you forgive me for being so foolish?"

"Inara isn't me." She held up her hand to forestall his argument. "But I waited for someone for years. Forgave his foolishness. She might forgive yours."

"I wish I hadn't run."

"You shouldn't have. Even if you disagreed with what happened on Jiangyin, that was no reason to leave Inara." She looked at him coolly. "And when this happens again? Which it will, don't have any illusions. When you come up against something that doesn't tally with the way life should be, that shocks you with its brutality? What then? Will you run again?"

He thought for a moment. "I can't say," he admitted quietly. "I wish I could, that I can change, if not accept what happens out here, at least understand it. But I can't promise that, only that I'll try." He took her hand. "I'm only human."

"That's all any of us are." Freya smiled. "Well, maybe not Jayne."

His lips twitched. "You know, I like that man. He's so … honest."

"That's Jayne. An honest, smiling villain."

"I think you're misquoting."

"Probably."

"Will you? Talk to her?"

Freya sighed. "I'll try."

His face lit up, and not just with the sun's first rays hitting it. "Thank you." He squinted, and glanced at her from under his long dark eyelashes. "And I am sorry I interrupted you. Do you watch the sunrise a lot?"

Freya didn't want to give him any details, in case he read anything into it, so merely said, "It's special."

"But you must see the sunrise around a planet often."

"It's not the same. I love it, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it's nice to see it when your feet are on the ground."

"On the ground. Grounded. You know, you may be one of the most grounded people I know." He smiled. "You're so certain about things. Your love. Your life. How do you do it?"

"Sam, maybe you don't know me as well as you think."

He laughed. "I've come to realise I don't know anyone that much." He looked around the orchard. "Have you ever read the story _The Man in the Rorschach Shirt_?" he asked. "It's by an author from Earth-that-was named Ray Bradbury."

"I don't think so."

"It's about a therapist who suddenly realises he's misheard and misunderstood everything his patients have ever said to him, and yet he's still helped them." Sam smiled. "I feel a little like that right now. As if I'm floundering."

She smiled. "Well, maybe I can give you some advice to help you anchor yourself. Might be a good idea to woo her. Flowers. Poetry. Not saying it'll work, but it won't hurt."

"Flowers?"

"Mmn. But only wild ones."

He looked thoughtful. "Showing care but not that I'm trying to buy her. Good. Excellent."

"I aim to please."

Suddenly, with a quick movement that surprised her, Sam leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Thank you." He hurried off.

She laughed softly.

"Sent him off with a flea in his ear?" Mal asked, stepped up behind her and wrapping his arms around her body. "Or do you let strange men kiss you when I'm not around?"

"Did I wake you?"

"Only in as much as you weren't there."

"Sorry."

"What for?"

"You seemed to be dreaming. I didn't want to disturb you."

"Only dreaming about you, _xin gan_."

"That's nice."

"So … you seeing the dawn in again?"

She tensed a little. "Again?"

"Frey, you might think I don't notice these things, but I do. I notice everything about you. Like I know how you like your cereal, with way too much sweetener in it. That you hate it when I squeeze the toothpaste in the middle. And how you like to sit out here and watch the sun come up."

She coloured. "It's just … it's silly."

"No. No it ain't." He turned her to look at him. "It means something to you, doesn't it?" His voice was tender, his face more so.

"It's a link to a different time."

"A better time?"

"No. Just different." She smiled a little shakily. "I didn't know you knew."

"Not the first time I've woken to find you gone from the bed. Only it doesn't happen on board Serenity. Least, not that often." He ran his finger down her cheek. "Mostly here. On Lazarus."

"When I was a child, we used to go into the mountains during the summer, to get away from the heat," she began. "We had a house there, just a rambling house that squeaked when the wind blew. My mother hated it." She sighed a small laugh. "Alex and I loved it. And for five weeks every year we could run wild, go swimming, riding, or just find someplace to read."

"Be a kid." He remembered times like that, back on Shadow, but there didn't have to be any sneaking about to enjoy it. His arms tightened around her.

"Yes." She snuggled up to him, not just for warmth, but to feel his heart beating in his chest. "I'd creep out of the house a couple of times a week. I daren't do it any more, just in case they found out. But I'd watch the sun come up over the horizon, and wonder what the day had in store for me. What my life was going to be like for just that time."

"You mean you were a romantic even back then?" Running his fingers through her hair, he cupped the back of her head.

"Absolutely. Worse kind you've ever seen. Rose-coloured spectacles and all."

"And you thought I'd make fun of you if I knew."

She froze. "I … wondered."

"If you want me to, I can. But I don't intend to." He pulled her head close enough so that their lips could touch. "I love you too much for that," he whispered into her mouth.

---

"Inara, can I talk to you?" Freya leaned through the door, seeing the woman sitting at her dressing table, pinning her hair up.

"Only if you can give me a hand. I just can't seem to make this work today." Inara dropped her arms.

Freya smiled and walked up to stand behind her. "Bad night?"

"No. Well, maybe a little," she amended, looking at her friend in the mirror. "I didn't seem to sleep very well."

"No. I think a few people had that trouble." She took the silver corrugated pin from Inara's fingers and put it between her teeth. "Sam, for instance."

"Has he spoken to you?" Inara asked, half turning.

"Sit still." Only it came out more like 'fit ftiw'.

"Fine, fine." She looked back in the mirror. "I suppose I have you to thank for those." She touched a posy of wild flowers lying next to her makeup.

Freya shrugged, taking hold of Inara's tresses and twisting them up into a knot. Holding them with one hand she slid the pin into the body of hair with the other. "Might be."

"There was a poem with them."

"Really."

"I think it was one of his."

"Fancy that." Freya stood back. "There."

Inara looked at herself critically. "I suppose it will do."

"Thanks!"

"I didn't mean it like that." Inara sighed heavily. "I don't know what to do, Freya."

"About Sam?"

"Mmn."

"Why don't you talk to him?"

"I did. It didn't get us very far." She stood up and went to her bed, lifting the gauzy coat from it and sliding it over her arms.

"Inara, give the man a chance. He came here, waited for you. That must say something."

"It does. But nothing's changed. I still live here. Have friends amongst the nefarious." She half-smiled at the look on Freya's face, but became serious again. "He's going to come up against things he won't accept. And I can't take it if I let him in and he leaves again."

"Then tell him. At least he has the right to know where he stands. And if you want him to leave, you need to say." Freya stepped closer. "Just don't go cutting off your own nose to spite your face."

Inara couldn't help a soft peal of laughter. "I haven't heard that in years! Not since my nurse when I was six."

"My mother used to use it." Putting her hand on Inara's shoulder, Freya spoke softly. "But it's true. If you want him, if you love him, you have to risk everything."

"Is that what you did?" Inara wished she could take the words back immediately she'd said them, but Freya didn't take offence.

"Yes. Every time, telling Mal how I felt, even though I knew he was going to shoot me down. I had to say."

"But I'm not you."

"No."

"I need someone I can count on."

"Then tell Sam."

"I don't want to hurt him."

"I know. But you can't let this go on."

"No, I suppose not. But … not today. I don't think I can face him today."

"Inara …"

"Thank you for doing my hair. But I have some letters to write, so I shall probably stay in my room." Inara stood tall, her head high, and Freya knew she had been dismissed.

---

"Did you speak to her?" Sam asked, accosting Freya at the bottom of the stairs.

"Yes."

"And?"

She looked into his hopeful eyes. "I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you."

"Then perhaps I should –" He went to walk past her, to climb the stairs, but she stopped him.

"No. Leave it for a while. Let her think on things."

"She's going to tell me to leave, isn't she?"

"Your gut instinct tell you that?"

"I don't have instincts. I have reasoned thoughts and controlled emotions." He smiled sadly. "But yes, my guts are telling me she's going to want me gone."

"Well, if that happens, I'm sure we can take you with us when we go. At least drop you at Greenleaf."

He laughed, but it sounded hollow. "That's where I started out. Not going home to Ariel after visiting my daughter, but coming here instead." He shook his head. "It will be as if this time never happened."

"It did, Sam. And who knows, maybe she won't say no."

"Your gut instincts telling you that?"

She wasn't going to peek, to look into Inara's mind and see what she was thinking. "Just wait a while."

"That's all I have been doing."

"Then you'll be good at it, won't you?" She smiled at him. "Now, I'm going to go and have breakfast with my husband, my son and my daughter." She took his arm. "Why don't you join us?"

"I doubt I'd be good company."

"Then we'll talk and you can listen. Think how boring that's going to be."

Sam had to laugh, and accompanied her into the dining room.


	4. Chapter 4

By midday it was obvious there was a storm brewing, and not just amongst the human occupants of the house. Outside the air had changed, thickening, almost becoming greasy, and Jayne watched as clouds gathered over the mountains.

"Gonna piss down," he predicted, holding River around the waist.

"Yes." She shivered. "I can feel it. Electricity. All around."

Jayne glanced at her, his eyebrow raised, then concentrated. "Ya mean like all the hairs are standing up on my arms?"

She nodded. "Not just tension."

He looked over his shoulder towards the house from where they were standing in the orchard. "Yeah. Ya know, someone needs to talk to 'Nara. If'n she don't want Sam here, she needs to say. 'Cause it ain't doing her any good being quiet like this."

River didn't respond.

"Hey. You think it's a good idea or not?" Jayne pressed.

"Freya already spoke to her," the psychic said, her head on one side. "But I don't know that any more is necessary."

"You seeing something, moonbrain?"

"Sparks."

"You mean lightning?"

"Some." She moved closer to him, feeling the air pushing against her skin. "And more."

"Your bro checked your hormones this morning?" he asked, putting his hand on her belly. Maybe he was imagining it, but there seemed to be a slight thickening there.

"Hormones are fine. And a little."

"So I ain't imagining it." He didn't mind her knowing his thoughts.

"Getting ready to grow." She put her hand on top of his. "To swell, to inflate, to expand, to engorge –"

"See, now I _know_ Simon ain't checked you out today. Come on. Better get it over with."

"I feel like a pin cushion," she complained.

"You know what Mal said."

"Pin cushion or shuttle. I know." She sighed. "Hungry."

Jayne laughed, the deep sound rolling through the trees. "Maybe that's it. You ain't eaten this morning."

River grimaced. "Saw it all coming the other way, so I didn't take it down for it to come back." Just the memory made her swallow hard.

He rubbed her back. "Yeah, sorry about that. But you were the one decided not to take that medicine any more."

"I don't want to take anything that might interfere." Her face screwed up a little more. "And my belly's making noises."

"Come on. It must be nearly time for food anyway. Let's go see if Mrs Boden can rustle you up something."

She turned her big eyes on him. "Eat with me?"

"If you want."

She giggled suddenly, and was out of his embrace and running back towards the house, her bare feet flying as he chased her.

---

"Why lessons?" Bethany complained, sitting at the table and swinging her feet. Her toes kept running across Fiddler and Giselle's backs where the two dogs were laying under the table, snuffling in their sleep. "We're on holiday."

Freya put the portable screen down. "Holiday?"

"Here. Lazarus." Bethie sighed. "And the sun's out, the birds are singing, and Mr Boden's building us a tree house …"

"Is that what all the noise was earlier?" Freya smiled. "I did wonder. Did you ask or did he offer?"

"It was Ethan's idea." Bethie pointed at her surrogate brother sitting opposite her.

The little boy wasn't quite sure, but thought he was being blamed for something. He sighed, sounding just like his father.

"Really." Freya looked from one to the other, trying not to laugh. "And you think that means lessons are suspended for the duration?"

"It would be nice, and we'd work harder tomorrow. Please?" Bethie turned on the eyes, all big and dark like her mother's.

"Well …" Freya glanced out of the window. "Actually, I don't think you'll be playing outside for a while. It looks like it's going to rain."

Bethany scrambled from her chair and ran to the window. "Oh," she said, gazing out at the odd yellow light and feeling her spirits sink. "It looks icky."

"Exactly. So why don't you come back and we'll see what we can find on storms?"

The little girl turned. "Must we?"

"Come on. Half an hour. Then it'll be time for lunch."

"Food?" She brightened up a little, and Fiddler pricked up his ears in his sleep.

"Food." Freya picked up the screen again. "Now, see if you can tell me what this cloud formation's called."

---

"Mal, Mr Boden says it might be better if you all went back to Serenity tonight." Inara stood in the doorway to the library.

Mal looked up in surprise, a book in his hand. "Why'd that be?"

"That storm." She walked to the window, looking out at the glowering clouds coming up fast. "He thinks it'll be bad."

"Weathered a few storms in my life before, 'Nara. What makes this one different?"

"Lazarus is apparently famous for them. High winds, rain, lightning … they've been known to blow away small houses."

"This one in any danger?" Mal put the book back on the shelf. "'Cause if you are, then maybe we should all go back to Serenity. We can take off, be above the storm –"

"I'm not leaving my home, Mal." She crossed her arms. "I thought you realised that by now?"

"Not suggesting permanently. Just while it lasts."

"Mr Boden wouldn't go anyway, and where he stays, so does his wife. I'm just … I'm worried about the children."

"You think it could be that bad?"

"I don't know. But Mr Boden says his foot is playing him up, and I trust his experience." She actually looked worried.

"Maybe I'll go take a look at the sensors on Serenity," Mal considered. "See if we can get a better idea of what's like to happen than just relying on Mr Boden's extremities."

---

"You know, I like Sam, but …" Kaylee sat with her bare feet in her husband's lap on the sofa in the yellow drawing room, and shook her head.

"But what?" Simon massaged her toes.

"He ain't right for her. 'Nara needs someone who ain't afraid, who's passionate, and … well, someone who loves her, 'bove everything else."

"Maybe _he_ does."

"P'raps, but if'n he does it's dry, dusty love. Not hot and … and sticky."

"_Bao bei_, don't go mistaking reserve for a lack of passion." He tapped her foot. "You thought _I_ was reserved."

Kaylee smiled. "Maybe I did. But you took your own sweet time to do anything. I really thought I was gonna have to strip buck naked and ambush you one night, just to get you to look at me."

"Really?" His eyes unfocused.

"You're imagining it, ain't you?" Kaylee asked, pushing at his chin with her foot.

"A bit. Just wondering what would've happened if you had."

"You'd've gone pink, stammered a lot and run away."

"You think?" He ran his thumb up her instep, making her shiver. "I might not have. I might have lost my head and taken you hard there and then."

She wriggled, her toes curling and uncurling. "Nah. Pink, stammer and run."

"And you think that's what Sam will do?"

"Already done it. I just don't see any passion in him. He's so controlled. So sure what he thinks is right. I don't ever believe he'd ride up on a white horse and slay a dragon to save his lady. Not like Mal. Nor be willing to endanger life and limb every day living with your sis like Jayne."

"Hey! She's a lot better!"

"Yeah, she is. 'Cause of him. And don't go trying to change the subject. Even Hank kept chasing Zoe 'til she caught him. But Sam? One little setback and he's gone."

"He's here now," Simon pointed out. "Don't you think that counts for something?"

"Yeah, maybe, but he ain't taken her into his arms and kissed her. They ain't even touched, far as I can see." Kaylee sighed. "She needs the knight to come for her, not the wimp."

"I'm hoping you're not suggesting I was –"

"You ain't a wimp." She pressed her heels into his lap and made him groan a little. "Found that out."

"Well, you released a lot of things in me, Kaylee, when you agreed to love me."

"Always was in love with you, Simon. Just took a while to get those blinkers off you." She leaned forward and they kissed.

"I still say Sam might surprise you," Simon said, acutely aware of how like a fish out of water he'd felt during his first months on Serenity, all the while not knowing if the captain was going to kill him or just put him and his sister off the ship. "Maybe he just needs time."

"Hmn. Maybe."

Sam, standing outside the open door, sighed. He didn't usually eavesdrop, but this time he wanted to know what they thought about him.

"Hear anything good?" Mal said, coming in through the front door, the wind blowing dust in after him along with Hank and Zoe. A crack of thunder almost obliterated his words.

"I … I was just …" Sam stammered.

"Don't worry," the pilot said, grinning. "It seems to be a habit with this crew."

Mal glanced outside at the huge raindrops hitting the dirt and bouncing back up. "Need to talk to everyone, so get them all in the dining room."

---

"Mr Boden's foot ain't wrong," Mal said, nodding at Inara as he faced his crew. "There's a storm just about here, and it's gonna be bad."

Simon looked at the rain lashing the windows. "How bad?"

"According to the Cortex, about every five years or so there's what they call a legendary storm," Zoe explained. "Mini tornadoes, hurricane winds, lightning, floods, you name it. And they haven't had one for near eight."

"So they're due," Kaylee said, moving closer to her husband, just to feel his comforting warmth. He took her hand.

"Overdue," Mal agreed. "So I want you to get the kids and take 'em back to Serenity. Hank and Zoe'll stay on board, keep her warmed over in case they need to take off. I'd prefer it if you and Kaylee go with 'em, Simon. Not saying anyone's going to need doctoring, but just in case."

"Of course."

"You want us to stay in the house, Mal?" Jayne asked, glancing at River. "I mean, in her condition –"

She hit him as Mal spoke. "No. River's gonna be in the shuttle, in case there's a call from anyone that needs help, and I'd be obliged if you'd stay with her."

"Sure thing. What about you?"

"I'll be staying, since Inara can't drag herself away." He glared at the ex-Companion.

"So will I," Freya put in.

"You don't have to," Inara said quickly.

"If you can persuade my wife to not do something she's decided on, I wish you'd tell me how," Mal said, sighing. "No, we're both staying. Mr Boden's battening down the hatches as we speak, and this place has stood a good long time, so we're probably not in any danger, but I want to make sure my crew's safe."

"I'll stay too." Sam surprised them all, and Inara stared at him.

"You don't have to," Mal pointed out.

"I know. But another pair of hands. And I can do whatever's needed."

Mal nodded slowly. "Okay. Thanks."

"It's pretty bad out there right now," Simon added. "How much worse –"

"Worse. In about an hour there ain't gonna be nothing standing up." Mal took a deep breath. "So come on, people. Let's get those kids across and safe."

---

Fifty-eight minutes later and Mal's prediction had proven right. The wind was so strong it sounded like it was ripping the roof off above their heads. Everything that could had been brought inside, and now it was just a case of waiting.

"How long?" Sam asked, licking dry lips, staring at the living room curtains, moving slightly even though the windows were tightly closed.

Mal shrugged. "The Cortex wasn't too clear. 'Parrently one lasted for three days, but that was unusual. Normally ten, twelve hours. The sensors show it as pretty big, but it's moving fast. Maybe by daybreak."

"All night?"

"Why, you thinking of trying to get some rest?"

Something hit the side of the house then clattered away.

"I _was_ considering meditating."

"Good luck."

Inara was in the kitchen with Mrs Boden and Freya.

"Are you sure that's going to be enough?" she asked, watching as the housekeeper filled large flasks with hot coffee.

"It should be, Miss," Mrs Boden said, fixing the lid. "If we run out it will have to be cold drinks otherwise." She glanced to where her husband was pouring water on the kitchen fire. "The wind could tug the flames up the chimney else, and set fire to the walls."

"What about the –" She stopped as the lights went out. She gave a little cry.

"It's all right, Miss Inara," Mr Boden said, his deep voice cutting through the sound of the wind. "It was to be expected. The generator's gone down." A light bloomed in his hand as he powered up an emergency lantern. "We know what we're doing."

"Of course you do." She smiled a little.

"Frey?" Mal almost ran through the kitchen door, Sam at his heels. "You okay?"

"Fine. Just getting a lesson in how Lazarenes live." Freya laughed. "It's … interesting."

"That's one way of putting it."

"Is there … is there a particular room we should all stay in?" Inara asked, her voice trembling just a little.

"No, Miss," Mr Boden explained. "Just stay away from the windows. The shutters are all up, and barred, but it's best not to go too close."

"Of course." She straightened her shoulders. "Then I think I'm going to take a tray of those sandwiches and go to bed."

"Tired of our company already?" Mal teased.

"You and a storm … what a wonderful combination. I'm not sure which is worse." She looked at the light. "Is there one for me?"

"Yes, Miss." Mr Boden twisted the base on a lantern and it immediately sprang to life. "I'll bring the coffee and food."

"Thank you." She took the lamp. "Then it's goodnight." Her gaze lingered for a moment on Sam's face, then she was gone out of the door, her man following.

"She'll be back," Mal predicted. "A little longer of this racket, and she'll be wanting to play cards or something."

"I don't know …" Freya stared at the door.

"I think I'll go up too," Sam said suddenly, grabbing a lantern and activating it. "But I'm not hungry, so … I'll see you in the morning."

"Oh, shiny." Mal shook his head, then turned to his wife. "Looks like it's just you and me, _ai ren_. Fancy a game of Tall Card?"

"Only if I win."

Mal picked up one of the flasks and a tray of food. "After you," he said, grinning.


	5. Chapter 5

Hank was staring out at the storm, feeling the Firefly rock slightly on her supports. A flash of lightning illuminated the interior of the bridge, and he shivered.

"We _are _okay, aren't we?" Zoe asked, coming up behind him.

"Sure we are."

"Can you sound a bit more confident?"

He twisted in his seat and looked up at her. "Zo, this boat's been through wars. I don't think a little wind and thunder's gonna hurt her." He flinched as a roll of vibration seemed to rattle the console.

"No?"

"She's spaceworthy," he explained as he turned back, running an experienced eye over the panels. "The wind can't get in where atmo can't get out, but … I'm just a bit worried something might … well, that we might roll over. It's not like Serenity's that small."

"Her belly's on the ground, isn't it?" Zoe put her hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, but –"

"Then she'll be fine. She's a good ship."

"You've got to say that. You're first mate."

"And you're the pilot. I've seen you having words with folks who dared say bad things about her." She leaned over, running her hands down his chest, breathing onto his neck. "Can't say you haven't."

"No, well …" He paused. "What are you doing?"

She begun unbuttoning his shirt. "Not sure. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"We can't." He clamped his hands over hers.

"Why not?"

"Because if anyone … if Mal found out he'd … I don't wanna get keelhauled."

She bit his earlobe. "He's in the house."

Hank twisted enough to look her straight in the eye. "What's gotten into you?"

Another flash lit her face, the slightly hooded expression, the swelling of her lips. "Find storms … erotic."

"Really?"

Taking advantage of his indecision, she kissed him. "Really."

---

"Tall!" Freya announced, laying down her cards.

"Gorram it!" Mal glared at the revealed faces. "How'd you do that?" Then his eyes narrowed. "You peeking?"

"No. Just better at cards than you." She sat back and folded her arms. "Pay up."

"Look, this really ain't a good idea."

"You agreed."

"Yeah, but that was when I thought I was gonna win." His words were punctuated by several crashes of thunder, each heels upon the other.

"Are you trying to get out of this?"

"No. Well, yeah."

"I'm going to have to tell everyone you welched on a bet. How do you suppose that's going to make me feel? Being married to a low-down, dirty welcher?" She managed to make her eyes look moist, almost as if she was going to cry, which he could have believed if her lips weren't twitching.

He grinned slightly. "Ain't low-down."

"Then prove it."

"What if anyone comes in?"

"Who?" She bit her lip in thought. "Let me see. Inara's in her room. Sam's in his. The Bodens are in their own quarters." Shaking her head she gazed at him. "Nope, that's it. For about another eight hours or so."

"Ten."

"What?"

"Might be ten hours."

"So you expect me to sit here and twiddle my thumbs for nearly half a day?"

"Might be fun. Watching you twiddle." He crossed his arms. "Go on. Show me."

"You lost. You show _me_."

They stared at each other for maybe twenty seconds as something heavy hit the wall outside and rolled along, then Mal laughed. "Fine." He stood up and dragged his suspenders off his shoulders.

"Hey, slowly."

"This ain't a striptease, _ai ren_," Mal complained.

"Why not?" she joked.

"'Cause you only won the one hand." He undid his buttons, making it as un-striptease like as possible, then tugged his shirt off and tossed it onto the sofa, incongruously pulling his suspenders back up. He sat down again. "Deal."

"You sure you trust me?" Freya asked, barely able to control the bubbling laughter threatening to spill from her throat.

"Just deal."

---

Inara lit the scented candles and breathed deeply. Better. Much … a crash of thunder rolled through the room, vibrating the windows in their frame. A second, and a third, barely a gap between them.

She jumped, her hand going to her throat, then grimaced. "Honestly, Inara," she said out loud. "It's just a little noise. What on earth is there to be afraid of?"

But she knew. She understood the feeling of being trapped, of not being able to run, to escape, with the sound and the fury outside trying to batter their way inside, to reach her to tear her limb from limb and make her bleed until there was nothing left but cold ashes and dust to leave her to –

"No!" She almost screamed the word, her voice covered by another peal of thunder. Then, much quieter, "No. Won't do this. I am Inara Serra. I'm stronger than this. I'm in control. Nothing here is going to harm me." Still, in the back of her mind she wondered where Sam was.

---

"I thought you'd be watching the storm," Simon asked, leaning in the doorway of their quarters.

"I was going to," Kaylee admitted, folding one of her clean tops and putting it away in the drawer. At least when they came to Lazarus Mrs Boden always did the laundry, and it smelled of flowers.

"So …"

"I went up to the bridge."

"And?"

"Hank and Zoe are up there."

"I say again, so? I'm sure they wouldn't have minded you joining them."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure they would've." She smiled tightly.

"You mean they're …" Simon glanced up towards the upper deck.

"Looked in the window 'fore I walked in, otherwise …" The ship shuddered slightly, and it seemed to transfer to her, and she shivered.

"Are you all right?"

She shrugged, and picked up another shirt. With trembling hands she began to fold it. "Sure. I'm shiny."

He was next to her in a moment, taking it from her and putting it down. "Tell me the truth. I'm your husband. I can take it."

She gazed at him, then said, in a small voice, "Don't like storms, Simon. Never have. Phoros hardly ever got any, but when they did … lost family in one once. Coupla cousins."

"Oh, _bao bei_." He gathered her into his arms. "Then why did you want to watch?"

"It's easier. I can see it's just wind and rain, and a little electricity. That's what keeps Serenity in the air, and I can cope with that. But down here, it's like someone's trying to shake the life out of her, and it … well, it scares me."

He stroked the hair from her face. "Come on." He led her towards the bed.

"Look, as much as I appreciate the offer, I don't exactly feel like -"

"Lay down," he ordered. "Please."

"Simon -"

"Just do it."

Muttering something under her breath, she sat down and pulled her legs up, settling stiffly back against the pillow. Simon climbed up next to her, laying his body against her length. "Don't see as how this is gonna help."

"Trust me. And close your eyes." He reached up and turned the lights down to a dim glow, then wrapped his arm over her. "Nothing is going to harm you, my _meili_ wife. Not while I'm here. And I plan on being here a long time yet." He began to stroke her arm, just his thumb pressing gently into the soft skin on the inside of her wrist up to her elbow.

Her eyelashes fluttered. "Might fall asleep," she warned.

"That would be fine." He drew his hand slowly from her shoulder down to her waist.

She could feel his fingers graze her breast. "Might not."

"That would be fine too." He smiled. "Concentrate on me, Kaylee. Nothing else." He kissed her lips so gently it was like a butterfly's wing. "Nothing else."

---

"Did you lose that last hand deliberate?" Mal asked accusingly, watching as Freya undid her pants and peeled them from her legs.

"Now why would I do that?" She sat back down.

"'Cause you felt sorry for me." He was only dressed in his shorts: every other item of clothing lay on the sofa.

She smiled. "Do you really think I'd stop before you were naked?"

"Not usually, no."

She leaned forward, gathering the cards and starting to shuffle them. "Should be an interesting game," she said.

"Nope." He put his hand on hers, pushing them down to the table top. "No more."

"No?"

"No." He pulled her to her feet and wrapped her in his arms. "No more games." He pushed her backwards until she was against the sofa. With a sweep of one arm he pushed his clothes onto the floor, and laid her down gently.

"Mal, aren't we supposed to be keeping watch or something?" she asked, her voice getting throaty.

"You wanted to play Strip Tall." He nuzzled her neck.

"I did at that." Her eyes half closed. "How long do those lights last?"

He looked up from his task in surprise. "About twenty hours. Why?"

"Oh, nothing. Just thought perhaps we should conserve their power. In case we might need it."

"There's plenty more of them in the store," Mal pointed out, running his finger down the crease between her breasts. "Enough to light this place like a carnival."

"Still, waste not, want not."

He lifted his head to look into her dark eyes. "How many more of these sayings've you got?"

"Hundreds," she admitted, her tongue darting out to scrape across her lips. "On all sorts of subjects."

"Then I'll look forward to each and every one of 'em." He smiled. "But for right now …" He reached across and picked up the lamp, turning it down until there was just the faintest of glows. "How's that?"

"Off," she insisted.

"But then I won't be able to see you."

"Off."

"O-kay." He flicked the switch and the room tumbled into noisy darkness. Then … "What's that?" he asked, his eyes adjusting and realising he could still see her in flashes.

"Lightning," she said softly. "I can feel it. Almost continuous. Getting in around the gaps, down the chimney, through the floor …" She groaned, pressing herself up against him. "Mal … What if someone comes in?"

He didn't answer, just moved his face down to hers.

---

"The crashing or booming sound produced by rapidly expanding air along the path of the electrical discharge of lightning."

Jayne looked at River, standing facing the storm on the small bridge of the shuttle. "Yeah? You know, my Ma used to say it was God movin' furniture about. Course, that was when I was a kid. But she was still telling Matty the same thing when he was scared."

"I used to watch the lightning storms over the mountains from my room. Mother used to get upset, said I was inviting it inside the house." She shrugged. "A small tale to frighten a smaller child. But I still found them … exciting."

"Exciting? How?"

"Fire from the sky. Bursting through the clouds and up from the earth. Knew the why and the how, but the flash made my blood sing."

"Figure maybe it still does." He gazed at her, and realised she was counting. "And you can't hear the thunder properly. Why're you doing that?"

"_I _can hear. And it's still coming."

He put his hand around her waist, feeling her vibrating. "You okay?"

"Feel … odd," she admitted.

He tensed, concerned. "You need your bro?"

"Not that kind." She turned to look at him. "Need sex. Now."

His arm tightened. "How come? Not that I'm saying no, but -"

"Too much. Feel it."

"Moonbrain, I ain't got an idea what you're talking about."

For answer she slid the straps of her dress from her shoulders, letting the fabric fall from her like liquid. Pale, slim, taut, her form was illuminated by another flash of lightning as Jayne's breath caught in his throat and he growled.

---

Sam was pacing in his room. Back and forth, up and down on the thick carpet. He almost wished it were bare boards, so he could hear the crack of his heels on the woods, but he had to make do with counting his steps from one side of the room to the other. Not that he'd have heard his heels, not with the noise going on outside. It sounded like a battle. If he'd ever been in a battle. He'd seen docudramas on the Cortex, of course, like everyone else, recreations of the Battle of Serenity in particular, but never actually been in one. Still, he had a fairly good imagination. Shells bursting overhead, explosions, the cries of … His head went up. Someone had shouted. He was sure of it. Someone had just called out, in fear. Inara.

He was out of the door and along the corridor before he realised he hadn't taken his lantern, but he didn't care. Bursting into her room he saw her trying to close the French windows where they'd blown open, the wind whistling through the slats in the shutters and making the curtains dance around her. He crossed the room swiftly, and between them they managed to close the windows, but the catch was broken.

"Get something," he ordered, using all his weight to stop them flying open again. "We need to wedge it."

Inara nodded, running for the heavy oak chair by the fireplace. Dragging it across the carpet, they pushed it against the window. It held, but barely, the glass rattling in the frame.

"You can't stay in here," Sam went on. "It isn't safe. If that goes again …" He put his hand under her arm. "Come on."

She let him lead her out into the corridor and back to his room, closing the door firmly behind him. "Thank you," she whispered, shivering.

"You're cold." He whipped a blanket off the bed and wrapped it around her, rubbing her arms through it to create heat. His hands slowed as he realised what he was doing, realised how close they were to each other, how much he … "Inara …"

She looked into his eyes, about to lean into him, but stepped back. "No, Sam."

"Inara, please."

"Nothing's changed." She turned away from him, unwilling to look into his olive face. "Nothing."

That movement sent a jolt of anger through him, like the flash of lightning that rent the sky outside and rolled thunder through the room. He grabbed her arm. "Yes, it has. I have. Why can't you see that?"

She glared at him, the tension in the room about to erupt into a conflagration.


	6. Chapter 6

"Inara, I've apologised. I've said I'm sorry. Why do you keep pushing me away?" Sam stared at her, his dark eyes entreating her.

"Because you ran! You saw something out here that you didn't like and you ran." Inara faced him, her anger almost tinting the air red between them.

"You know why."

"No, I don't."

"I explained."

"And I let you go."

He released her arm as if it was red hot. "Inara …"

"You made the decision. Perhaps you ought to stick to it." She lifted her chin defiantly.

"So that's it? I just walk away? Go with Serenity and get back to my normal life?"

"Yes."

"That's what you want."

"Yes."

He took a deep breath and held it for a long moment before releasing it slowly. "I see. Fine. Now at least I understand." He walked to the door. "You'd better use this room. I'll find another. I wouldn't want to … inconvenience you."

"Thank you."

He had turned the knob, opened the door, half-stepped out into the corridor when an enormous crash of thunder roared overhead, and the banked anger inside him broke. "No!" he shouted, turning to her again. "That isn't good enough!"

She took a step back. "What? Why?"

"Because this _isn't_ what I want." He advanced into the room. "I want to take you! Make you love me!" He laughed bitterly. "But I can't."

"What are you talking about?"

"Because of what you went through! I can never … I _would_ never force myself on you. But I don't know how to tell you how I feel."

"Just tell me."

"You don't understand. All my life I've lived by my own rules, by a code that … I'm a therapist, Inara. I know this is wrong, what I want, but I …I'm losing you before I ever had you. And I should be emasculated for even thinking like this. For wanting to … to make you want me." He shook his head. "See what you've made of me?"

"Sam, stop this." She hardened her heart. "This is pointless."

"I'm offering myself to you, Inara! What are you afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid."

"Yes you are. I can see it in your eyes. Why are you so afraid?"

"I'm not afraid of you!"

"Then what do you want me to do?" He put out his hands in entreaty. "What can I do to prove how I feel to you?"

She glared at him. "You want to prove you love me?" She glanced down at the fireplace, and bent quickly to pick up the poker. "Take this outside. Into the storm."

"What?"

She let it fall with a clatter. "See, I knew you -"

Sam scooped up the fire iron and strode out of the door. For a long moment Inara did nothing, just stared open-mouthed at the empty doorway, then she ran out after him, the blanket falling from her shoulders. He was already down the stairs, undoing the heavy bolts and forcing his way into the tempest.

In the drawing room, Mal felt the wind howl down the hall, and he paused.

"No," Freya panted, pulling his face back around to hers. "Not our problem. Theirs."

"Whose?"

She twisted her fingers in his wet hair and angled her hips more sharply. "Not … ours …"

Mal's brain short-circuited at that and he bent back to his task.

Inara hurried down the stairs, almost slipping on the wet floor from the rain already pouring in, and hurtled outside. "Sam! Sam, stop! Come back inside!" Her voice was whipped away by the wind, but he heard her. He turned, facing her, the poker held high in his hand, and every moment she expected to see lightning fork down and impale him. "Sam, please!" If he got hurt because of her stupid pride …

"Why?" He waved his hand. "This is what you wanted, wasn't it? Me to prove how I feel? Well, here I am." He looked up into the sky. "Do your worst!" he shouted as the rain hit his skin, bruising him and soaking his clothes.

Inara grabbed for the poker but he held it out of her reach. "Please, Sam!"

"Why, Inara?" He could feel hot tears running down his cheek, and realised he was totally out of control, unable to do a thing about it. "I'm sorry. What else can I say to you?"

She stared at him, then reached up and touched his face, her fingers cupping him. "Sam, please."

He gazed into her eyes, seeing her carefully coiffed hair plastered to her head, her make-up melting and running down her skin, and his hand opened, letting the poker fall to the ground. "Inara …"

"Come back inside." Her words were too quiet for him to hear above the noise, but he saw her lips move, felt the tug of her hand on his arm, and he had to follow. Closing the door behind them, she threw the bolts into place, then led the way back upstairs.

Back inside his room, she walked to the empty fireplace and stopped, facing away from him as she wiped her face with her hands. "I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have provoked you."

"You didn't. I didn't have to go out there."

"The grand gesture …"

"Something like that."

"Why couldn't we just talk?" She hugged her arms around herself. "We never just talked!"

"Inara, we did nothing _but_ talk!"

"Not about us!" She sat down heavily on the bed. "You know so much about me, about what happened with Anthony and …" She took a deep breath, trying to calm the wild beating of her heart. "Yet you don't know _me_."

"Of course I do."

"Do you? Do you know how I take my coffee? Whether I prefer oranges to apples? You know all about how I will always love Mal, but do you know what makes me _me_?"

"Black. And you prefer oranges but they make your fingers sticky. I know you'll always love Mal. And I want to spend time finding out what makes you _you_."

"You don't even know how I feel."

"Then tell me."

"I fired you. I fired you so we weren't doctor/patient anymore, so that we could … you must realise."

He went down on his knees in front of her. "Inara, I care about you. So very much. More than care. And I want us to explore that. But you're afraid of something. _ Is_ it me?"

"Sam, I'm not afraid of you," she whispered. "I'm afraid of me. That there's no-one inside here, inside this shell that everyone calls Inara Serra." She shivered.

Sam became all efficiency. "We need to get you out of those wet clothes," he said, getting to his feet and going to the wardrobe.

Inara almost laughed. "Are you propositioning me, Dr Nazir?"

"I just don't want you catching pneumonia. I think your Captain Reynolds wouldn't be too pleased if you did."

"He's not my Captain. He hasn't been for a long time. Since _I_ ran away from him because I didn't want him to tell me how he felt. It cost me his love."

Sam paused, a robe in his hands. "_You_ ran?"

"He said once that he thought he'd loved me enough for us to make something. Even though Freya was always there in the background. That we could have made it work. Except by the time I came back it was too late."

Sam crossed back to her, made her stand up. "Inara, regrets are all very well, but you can't live in the past."

"I know that, Sam. And I don't. I let Mal go. But it was hard, and it still hurts sometimes, when I see them together, with their children. It hurts."

"And you thought I'd done the same thing. Run away from something we could have made."

"Yes." She lifted her head. "I never forgave myself over that. How could I forgive you?"

Suddenly Sam laughed. "How old are we, Inara?"

"What?"

"I have a grown daughter, I'm a grandfather, and here I am acting like a love-sick teenager."

"Love-sick?"

"Oh, yes. Definitely. And you, my dear, have a touch of the petulant child about you."

She was about to demand he take that back, that it wasn't true, when she realised it was. "Cutting off my nose…" she murmured.

"What?" Now it was Sam's turn to be confused.

"Something Freya said. A saying. Cutting off your nose -"

"To spite your face. Yes, I know it. My grandmother used to use it."

Inara smiled. "You should talk to Freya. I think you've got quite a lot in common."

"I'd rather have something in common with you, Inara." He undid the front of her over-dress. "But right now you have to get out of those wet things."

"I can do it."

He smiled and took half a pace back. "Go on then."

She peeled the gauzy fabric from her arms, then tried to undo the buttons on her shoulders, but her fingers refused to work. She struggled for a minute, then looked at him. "I think I need help."

"I'm a therapist," he said gently. "That's what I do." Closing the gap between them, he began easing the buttons through their tiny loops.

"But you're wet through too," she pointed out, feeling his proximity, his warmth.

"I'm pretty cold-blooded," Sam admitted. "It takes a lot to get me out of my normal state." He leaned closer. "It takes you, Inara." With a swiftness born of believing she might tell him to stop, he brushed his lips across the base of her neck to under her ear.

"Sam …" she whispered on an intake of breath.

"Too much?" he asked, looking into her eyes.

"I …" She couldn't speak, just pressed her mouth to his. It seemed an age until his arms surrounded her, but he pulled her body into his. She felt his tongue press between her lips, tasting her, his hands around her waist and on her back, and she opened her eyes. His were closed, as if he was memorising every sensation. Then they opened, and fixed her with their darkness, full of secrets that she was longing to unravel.

He smiled as he pulled back a little. "I'm surprised we're not steaming," Sam joked.

"I'm still cold."

"Then I think we'd better do something about that." He went back to undoing the buttons, and suddenly her shoulders were free. He swallowed as he saw the soft, white skin revealed. He turned his back.

"What are you doing?"

"Being a gentleman."

"Isn't it a bit late for that?"

He stared into the shadows in the corner of the room. "Not until you give me permission."

"Permission?"

"Inara, I want you. So badly. More than I've wanted almost anything in my life. Perhaps more than everything. But I'm not going to take it when it isn't offered."

She didn't answer, and he thought he'd offended her, but then he felt her hands slide around his waist. She seemed to be trembling.

"Sam, I _am_ afraid."

He put his hands on hers. "Afraid? Of what?"

"Of myself." She tried to take a deep breath, and only managed a shuddering one. "Sam, I haven't slept with a man as me since … since Gregor. I don't know if I know how to be a woman."

"You _are _a woman, Inara."

"No. I _was_ a Companion. It's different."

"Inara." He turned, looked down at her, more than aware she was naked. "I want this. But if you're not ready …"

"I am." She stepped back, two, then three paces, and the lantern illuminated her slender body. "Oh, Sam, please don't stop."

He stared at the magnificence he saw there. Her high breasts, slim waist, the long legs that seemed to go on forever … and he realised with a start that it didn't matter. Oh, she was a beauty, that was evident, but it wasn't just her physical charms that had attracted him. It was her, the real Inara, the one hidden inside all the armour. The Inara who had been through so much, yet come out whole and strong. That was the true woman.

"Inara …"

"And I'm still cold."

"Then perhaps you'd better get under the covers," he suggested.

"Are you going to join me?"

He smiled. "You know, I think I might."

Her face lightened, and she crossed to the bed, slipping under the sheet. "Then I give permission."

His smile widened to a grin, and he quickly stripped off his wet clothes, pulling the tie from his hair so it hung wetly down his back.

He reminded her of Simon. She blushed as she realised she shouldn't be thinking things like that, particularly as he was naked, but it was true. The hidden strength inside a deceptively slim frame, muscles flexing as he climbed into bed with her.

His olive body, all smooth and lithe, lay against her, just touching, nothing more. Slowly, as if he was tracing a pattern, he ran a single finger up her thigh. She quivered.

"Sam …"

"No. You do nothing. This is _all_ for you." His words whispered over her shoulders, grazing her cheek. She tried to remember to breathe.

The finger continued up over the swell of her hip, past her waist, then just touching the side of her breast. It didn't stop, but carried on higher, across her neck, her cheek, and into her hair.

"I'll never get the tangles out," she murmured, just needing to say something, anything.

"Then tomorrow I'll brush it for you," Sam promised.

"Are you going to leave?" she asked quickly.

His eyes searched hers. "Do you want me to?"

"No."

"Then no."

She pushed herself onto her elbows. "Are you just saying that because I asked?"

He shook his head. "Inara, I think I've come to realise something tonight. Even if you'd told me to go, I wouldn't have. I'd have sat at the end of the orchard, my belongings all around me, and waited for you. Perhaps I'd have got Mr Boden to build a tree house for me to live in, but you wouldn't have been able to get rid of me. I was stupid, Inara. And I'm going to make up for that. Even if we get storms like this every week."

"Storms?" She half-smiled. "Is it still raining?"

"I have no idea." Sam cupped her cheek. "Want me to go outside and find out?"

"Don't you dare."

He grinned, leaning forward to stop any further words.


	7. Chapter 7

The thunder and lightning gave their last hurrah a little before dawn, and shortly after the winds began to subside.

In the kitchen Mr Boden lit the fires again, then went outside to see if he could get the generator going, and to determine what other damage might need fixing. Mrs Boden started to prepare breakfast for when anyone needed it.

In the yellow drawing room, Freya was asleep, her head pulled into the crook of Mal's shoulder where they lay on the carpet, the throw from the sofa covering them. Mal himself was listening to the storm moving away, hopeful now that the house wasn't in any more danger of flying off its foundations, while upstairs there was quiet conversation.

"Will you tell them?" Sam asked, stroking Inara's hair, teasing out the tangles with his fingers.

"Of course." She lay across the bed, her head on his chest, only a sheet covering her. "Frey will know anyway, but I don't think the others will mind."

"I got the distinct feeling that Mal might decide to shoot me if I hurt you again."

She twisted enough so that she could look into his face. "Are you planning on doing that?"

"No. Never."

"Good. Then I'm sure Freya will stop him."

"That's … I'm glad."

They lay quietly for a few minutes, then Inara asked the question that had been plaguing her most of the night. "So are you staying?"

"Can I?"

She turned over, resting her chin on him. "Do you want to?"

"I thought it was therapists who answered a question with a question," he pointed out.

"Sam …"

"I'll stay. If you let me. I don't need to work if I don't want to, at least not for the money, and Dr Yi can take on any of my patients who might want to see me. But I'm not quite sure what I'd do here."

"Love me?"

He lifted his head. "That, I think, goes without saying."

"Will you tell your daughter?"

"Dhira will love you. And perhaps she can come to visit."

"That would be nice."

"In a few months."

She smiled. "That would be nicer." A thought occurred to her. "Of course, you could still practice. I have clients occasionally who come to me for counselling. We could … we could do it together."

"Together?"

"I was a Companion, Sam. I had extensive training in helping people, and not just in bed. And sometimes there are couples who need help, who need a masculine point of view …" Her voice trailed away, but her eyes were hopeful.

He considered it for a moment, then smiled. "A different venture. Out here. Helping people who need it, not just because it's fashionable and they can pay."

Inara sat up, suddenly excited. "And those that can could subsidise those that can't."

He lifted himself onto his elbow, smiling at her. "You could end up being famous. People beating down your door just to be counselled by you."

"Then _we'd_ be discriminating."

He reached out and touched her face, looking so young without all the make-up, so tender and optimistic. "You know we could still –"

She put her finger to his lips. "No. We might, but don't tempt fate. It's a new day, Sam. A new beginning." She leaned forward, her hair brushing his shoulders, her breasts against his chest, and kissed him thoroughly.

---

Down in the yellow drawing room, Mal's light doze was interrupted by the buzzing of the com link he'd left on the table. Reaching across Freya, trying not to disturb her, he picked it up.

"Shh," he said into it.

"Huh?" Hank's voice echoed tinnily around the room.

"What is it?" He kept his voice low.

"Storm's gone."

Mal glanced towards the still barred and shuttered windows. "Yeah, I figured that."

"So, do we get breakfast?"

"Depends. Is Serenity okay?"

"She's fine. Weathered it well." There was a snorting sound.

"Did you just make a really bad joke?"

"Who, me?" His guilt managed to convey itself very well over the ether. "Would I do that?"

"Hmmn. Okay, give it fifteen then come on over."

"Fifteen?"

"Just do it, Hank."

"'Kay." The link went dead and Mal put it gently down on the carpet.

"What were you planning on doing in fifteen minutes?" Freya asked, opening her eyes.

"Thought you were asleep," Mal said accusingly.

She stretched, her skin rubbing against him. "Not any more."

"You keep doing that and we'll find out what I can do in fifteen minutes," he warned.

She grinned. "I think you'd better hold that thought." Her stomach rumbled. "It seems like I'm hungry."

He put his hand on her belly. "Thought held." He sighed. "Suppose I'll be getting dressed, then."

"I suppose." She didn't show any sign of getting to her feet.

"You know. Just to be decent." Nor did he remove his hand.

"Better be that."

"Wouldn't want to frighten anyone."

"No."

They gazed at each other.

---

Nineteen minutes later, slightly breathless, they walked into the kitchen and found the rest of Serenity's crew already eating.

"Where were you?" Hank demanded. "We could've starved waiting for you."

"My fault," Freya said, sitting down and grabbing a slice of toast. "I didn't want to wake up."

"After the night we've had, I'm not surprised," the pilot said, grinning. Then he winced as Zoe kicked him under the table.

River smiled knowingly at Jayne, who grinned back.

"Rough," the big man said, chuckling like a bear growling.

"Very," River agreed. "It's something of a mess outside," she said, turning back to the others. "A lot of trees have come down."

Mal stiffened, and Freya began, "Not –"

Zoe shook her head. "No. The one Mal vandalised is still there."

Freya laughed. "Good. I'd hate for him to have to mutilate another one."

He leaned over her and took a bite out of her toast. "That was done for love, _xin gan_."

"And that's my toast."

"There's plenty more," Mrs Boden said, putting a large dish of scrambled eggs on the table.

"Yum," Bethany said, helping herself to a great mound.

"Honey, are you going to be able to eat all that?" Kaylee asked, eyeing it doubtfully.

"Hungry."

"And no feeding Fiddler under the table," Simon said warningly.

"'Kay, Daddy." She smiled winningly at him. "Just hungry."

"You're not the only one," Mal said, watching Freya fill her plate too, and a smaller one for Ethan. "You don't get to leave the table 'til you've finished it."

"Tyrant," Freya whispered good-naturedly.

"Absolutely." He grinned and took a healthy helping himself.

The door opened and Inara walked in, Sam at her side.

"Ooh, coffee, excellent," she said, sniffing the air and smiling at everyone. "And good morning."

Most of the people around the table stopped eating and stared at them. Only Freya, River and the children continued.

Mal coughed slightly, as if a fragment of toast had caught. "Uh, good morning," he said eventually.

"Did you …" Hank began, but winced again. "Dear, will you stop doing that? I was only going to ask –"

"I know what you were going to ask. And it's none of our business." Zoe picked up her fork and began to eat.

Inara smiled and sat down, Sam pushing her chair in before taking the seat next to her. "Mrs Boden, the catch on my bedroom window broke last night. Could you get your husband to have a look at it? It doesn't matter if it's not today, as I shall be moving into Dr Nazir's room for the time being."

Mrs Boden didn't even blink. "Certainly, Miss."

"Thank you." She picked up the coffee pot and looked at Sam. "Shall I be mother?" she asked as the sound of Zoe hitting a choking Hank on the back filled the kitchen.

---

"So?" Freya cornered Inara as she was about to walk outside to inspect the grounds.

"Come on," the woman said. "I think somewhere a little more private?" She nodded towards Bethany and Ethan who were helping Mr Boden by seeing how many twigs they could collect. Fiddler and Giselle were chasing each other through the trees, barking madly.

"Ah." Freya nodded and they strolled towards the lake, arm in arm.

"Besides, I doubt there's anything I could tell you that you don't know already." Inara said.

"Well, I gather you … talked."

"We did."

"A lot?"

"Quite a bit."

"And was it … good?"

Inara laughed, more relaxed than she had been in weeks. "Freya, I know you have difficulty with other people's sexuality sometimes, but this is me you're talking to. Sam and I made love. Several times. And he made me feel … human."

Freya was determined not to blush, but it quite didn't work. "Human?" she asked, trying to get herself under control, but knowing her cheeks were warm.

"He insisted I had to be selfish. Every time I tried to do something, some trick to please him, he stopped me, asked me why I was doing it. He made me realise _I_ could be pleasured. Literally."

"That's … good." Freya looked into the distance.

"Oh, Frey." Inara hugged her. "Be happy for me."

"I am, I am," Freya insisted, hugging her back. "And I'm glad Sam's seen sense."

"Not just him. Me too." Inara let go and sighed. "Why is it that it's only when you've lost something that you realise how much you needed it?"

"I think that's pretty much what being a woman's all about. Or a man." She knew they weren't just talking about Sam, but didn't pursue it. "So he's staying?"

"Yes. We're going to try a new venture, working together."

"But not yet."

Again Inara's laughter rang out. "I think you know far too much for your own good," she said, hooking her arm through her friend's again. "No, we're going to take some time to be together first. Then he's going to invite his daughter, and then we'll see."

"Do you want us to leave?"

"No, no." She spoke firmly. "You're my family. And you can stay as long as you like."

"It will probably only be a day or two more anyway," Freya pointed. "You know Mal. Besides, I think that crate of Patience's is burning a hole in his hull."

"So you'll be heading to Greenleaf?"

"That's the plan."

"Perhaps you'd deliver a letter for Sam. To his daughter."

"Sure. No problem. After all, it's what we do."

"Mama." Ethan ran up, holding out his arms to be picked up, and Freya responded.

"Hey there," she said, smiling into her son's face. "How's the tree house?"

"Gone. But Mr Boden said he'll put one up for next time." He sighed, sounding so like Mal that Freya had to chuckle.

"Knowing Mr Boden it'll probably have three floors and a gazebo," Inara put in.

"Gazbo?" The little boy looked confused.

"Gazebo. It's like a little house all by itself."

"Oh." He struggled to be put back down, and ran off, calling, "Bethie!"

Freya looked at her friend. "You know you've done it now. They'll expect wonders."

"They're children. They're allowed to."

---

"So all's well in the Serra household?" Mal asked, watching Freya as she changed Jesse in the nursery next to their bunk.

"Seems so."

"Sam's decided being an idiot shouldn't be a lifetime calling?"

"He's seen the light."

"So was it them going outside last night? While we were …" He moved his hand backwards and forwards in a somewhat graphic gesture.

She laughed. "It was. Sam decided he knew how to be passionate after all."

"You mean they –"

"No, they didn't." She picked Jesse up and cuddled her to her chest. "I don't think anyone could have, not out there."

"Could have been fun to try."

"And get spit by lightning. Not a good idea."

"Well, maybe not."

"Definitely not." She passed him into their bunk, and sat on the bed, their daughter on her lap, yawning slightly.

"Sleepy?" he asked, his blue eyes tender.

"A little. Thought I might take a nap." She lifted her legs up and settled back.

"Mind if I join you?"

She smiled. "Not at all. But I'm only going to sleep."

"That I can live with." He grinned and laid down next to her, Jesse between them. The little girl waved her arms around until he took her hand, feeling her tiny fingers wrap around one of his.

"Mama?" Ethan called, climbing carefully down the ladder.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Freya half sat up.

"Nothing. Just wanted to know where you were."

His mother smiled. "We're going to take a nap. Want to join us?"

Ethan grinned, the spitting image of his father, and scrambled up onto the bed, displacing Jesse then holding her carefully against him.

Mal looked down at his family, and felt warmth suffuse him. _I love you, xin gan_, he thought.

_Always, zhang fu_.

_That's good,_ he considered, closing his eyes. _That's real good._


End file.
